I was over at a friend’s house last night enjoying one of Australia’s favourite pastimes, the great Aussie BBQ (I fucking love BBQ’s just as much as I love Christmas parties). With the lead up to Australia day you start seeing adds on TV, promotions on the radio and crap all through the papers. I love this shit! I’m an extremely patriotic Australian who is proud of his country and the people in it. But what upsets me is the lack of patriotism shown by the average Aussie.
A couple of years ago I was over in Perth WA for Australia Day, and fuck me do those bastards know how to celebrate Aus Day. They have fireworks, live entertainment, streets packed full of people with their face painted in the Aussie flag, cars with flags and Aussie memorabilia flying high and proud, chicks with Aussie bikinis (my personal favourite) and drunken dudes singing Advance Australia fair and Khe Sanh.
Yet on Australia Day back here in Melbourne you see the odd BBQ, a few blokes in thongs and chicks who only know it’s Australia Day because they have the day off work. Where is our patriotism people?
A mate last night made a comment that got me thinking. He said that “Aussieism is usually associated with boganism”. This seemed to make everything fall into place for me. The reason why one of my staff members called me a bogan for having an Australian flag up in my office, the reason why I was called a bogan for brining a pavlova to a BBQ and the reason why my wife called me a bogan for buying an Australian flag stubby holder.
Why is it that as soon as I show my love for this great big land of ours I get called a bogan? I have a respectable job, live in a respectable inner-city suburb and drive a respectable fucking car, for fuck sake I only have one fucking AC/DC cd, not one flannelet shirt, I don’t smoke Winnie blues and I don’t have a blue healer called ‘Bluey’, but because I advertise the fact that I’m a proud Aussie I get labelled a fucking bogan.
Well if being a proud Aussie makes me a bogan, then I’m the biggest fucking bogan out there. All you people who think you have escaped you’re bogan roots by modelling you’re life on you’re favourite American sitcom, listening to the latest Justin Timberlake & Fergie cd, wearing you’re fake Gucci sunglasses & rip off Prada handbag, smoking fucking menthol's and patting you’re designer Chihuahua named ‘Paris’. YOU HAVE’NT. You’re still a fucking bogan, just like me.
So for fuck sake, just for one day drop that façade, call you’re mates around, put on that Cold Chisel Cd, whip up a pav, slip on some thongs, bang some dead animals on the Barbie and celebrate this fucking awesome country of ours come Australia Day.
“Australians all let us rejoice cause I left my heart to the sappers round Khe Sanh”
“Australians all let us rejoice cause I left my heart to the sappers round Khe Sanh”
7 comments:
Great post Bo. Im Aussie through and through. Im far from a bogan too, mind you I do have a few blue healers.(None named bluey).
You are so right with what you say. Im ex an Melb girl, but it is where my heart is.
XXX
Maybe the problem is that there arnt that many Aussie in Australia anymore,,,Ohhh do I say that out loud?????
Fukin aye! Looks like I'm a bogan too then.
Although I do draw the line at Khe Sanh....I have heard that shit one too many times.
Cheryl- You can take the girl out of Melbourne.....
Anonymous- Hey mate welcome.
Don’t be silly there are heaps of Aussies in Australia, just ask my next-door neighbour Xi Tran and my other neighbour Juan Bojanic and their friend’s Zoula Karapanos, Margarita Kuperman, Vamovit Willarie and Zorica Frankopolopolus.
Josh- You draw the line at Khe Sanh, I draw the line at ‘I would walk 500 miles’ by the fucking Proclaimers.
I make it my mission to throw a bbq every Australia Day. Even better if it ties in with Triple J 100. I dress comfortable, cook lamb, serve lamingtons, and have my flag hanging out the door as I'm driving.
PATHETIC but Patriotic, that's me.
Fantastic post, buddy.
Ms Smack- You just summed up a great Australia day. But you forgot the Pav, you must have the Pav and even better if it’s got crushed up Peppermint Crisp bars over the top of it.
Kitty- Didn’t mean to imply that.
I tried this morning to pork my GREEK wife and she too told me to fuck myself. I’m staying clear of Greek women till at least lunch time.
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