Bless me bloggers for I have sinned, it’s been 15 days since my last post.
What are your sins my son?
Well for the past month I have been on what we call a Bender father blogger. I have been consuming alcohol at an alarming rate and destroying all in my path.
What has happened during this bender my son?
Well father blogger it all started when I went into a bottle shop near close half drunk, chatted up the Asian lady behind the counter, fucked her in the beer fridge next to the Carlton Draught and nearly vomited when I got a whiff of her cunt that smelled like hay.
I called mates and left abusive and incoherent messages on their mobile phones
Not turning up for work
Maxed out a credit card purely on booze
Drunk; smashed a bottle of Vodka in the food court of a shopping centre when I was told there would be a five minute wait on my quarter pounder, then went back to the bottle shop where I bought it from and demanded a replacement. When the attended refused I grabbed him by his collar and threatened to arrange his face in an unpleasant manner.
I walked out with two bottles of Vodka.
Had security grab me at said shopping centre where I smashed another bottle of Vodka over said security guard and legged it out of there before I was left with no bottles of Vodka.
Was an absolute cunt of a person to my wife and nearly ended our marriage. No really I was the FULL CUNT. There are too many stories to tell you father blogger on how I was the full cunt to my wife. So we will leave it at that.
I do this every few years or so
It’s my blow off valve
I’m off the booze for a while now
Wife and I have started marriage counselling and I have started drug & alcohol counselling.
My drug & alcohol counsellor Monique is a foxy little vixen who I intend to fuck.
I’m taking my wife over to New York for a well deserved holiday so I won’t be around blogland for a few weeks
See you all in a few fuckers
Oh and thanks to all whom sent me concerning emails, it’s nice to have people like you around.
And Fingers you old cunt put you’re pants back on, I’m not gay.
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9 comments:
Welcome back Bo.
Buy her lots of nice things and all will be forgiven.
Love
xx
Welcome back Bo, glad to see you're still around!
x x x
You went somewhere?
Remember Bo, "You're only gay if you're on the bottom"
At least that's what they told me in prison.
Good to see you back.
Chuck
Bo...
good to hear your ranting and ravings again. It was too quiet around here.
but dude, you need a hug....
Yeah, I reckon if I was coming off a drug/alcohol bender, I'd probably look for somewhere quiet like New York to go and cleanse my mind and body.
Who's your marriage counsellor...Brittney Spears...
Geez mate, you have been off the rails.
Hope you sort it all out.
Wish I'd been there for the ride!
Glad to know things are chugging along nicely...BTW the best airline for free booze is Qatar Airways...its a joke really, even in coach its an absolute free for all I mean UNLIMITED FREE SPIRITS. And if you vomit they just pass you a bong. Also the air hostesses wear no knickers.
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