Frederic Chopin knew how to write spreadsheets

I worked the whole week

This week

The whole week with the cunts

Tough haul, a long haul

The light at the end of the tunnel had a name

Pinot Noir

What a beautiful name

So elegant, so graceful

So misleading with its end result


I sit here in my office, Frederic Chopin playing his Concerto No.2 through my computer and drinking my eighth glass of Pinot.

My star employee Klara left forty five minutes ago after a fabulous snog and a monotonous hand job

She’s more of a rising star, one to look out for in the next draft pick



My boss called me at 4:30pm today to say she had a deal for me, a deal I couldn’t refuse

I refused

But after a very short conversation detailing reasons why I can’t refuse

I accepted

This brings me to why I’m sitting in my office writing you

I have to come up with spreadsheets that read the data of the data that head office require

Normally head office can suck my finely manicured balls, but seeing as it’s for Captain-I-have-allot-of-information-on-you-that-could-ruin-your-career

I graciously accepted.

So I will sip another sip of my Pinot and type another =sum (A2:Z60) and that will please my powers that be

Why do I do this?

Because I know I will access the internet at work and masturbate to naked women while I am getting paid to write spreadsheets

Question

How the fuck do you write spreadsheets?

I’ll have another drink please!!!!!