A Commissioned Spring

“Bo I want to go out”

“I’m writing”

“But you’re always writing, I want to go out, it’s nice outside”

“It’s nice inside too, we have music and drink and air-conditioning and what more could you want”

“I want more Bo”

“I can’t give you more”



“Bo what will I do when you die?”

“You will eat, sleep, drink, fuck, dress yourself, walk around and bitch”

“But I need security”

“Then get a dog”

“NO not that kind of security, emotional and financial security”

“OK you win let’s go out”

“But what about security”

“One thing at a time”

“Now you want to go out or what, grab your coat”

Penny always brings a topic round to emotions or financial security but the trick is to put her off the scent by introducing a new topic, a new conversation for the reason that no matter what the topic might be she will always have an opinion and will just be happy to talk, talk and talk.

Women are wonderful at this; they can play for hours and if they start to slow down just start another topic and you can daydream for another hour or so.

“Where are we going Bo?”

“To see Marcel”

“But why Marcel”

“Because you wanted to go out”

Marcel lives on the 18th floor in a commission housing project and is the most remarkable painter I have ever seen.

Out the front of his building Penny and I pass a group of kids hanging around and one of them whistles at Penny and yells “show us your cunt ay”, “yeah show us ya hairy cunt”

“Here we go” I think to myself

And with that Penny is off, running and screaming after the boy

“Come here you little son of a bitch, I’ll kill you, you know, just you wait”

I sit down on the bench and light a cigarette and watch Penny run after the boy

The sun is out and it shines bright down on Penny as she runs, she’s wearing her favorite summer dress but in spring and the flowers are out and it all looks so nice and I take another drag on my cigarette and watch as she catches the boy and sits atop him and starts punching and clawing at his face and the sun is shining and the flowers are out and it’s a lovely spring day.

As I finish my cigarette Penny walks towards me with a big smile on her face and brushes the dirt and grass off her knees and her favorite summer dress in spring.

“See what I did Bo? I got the little prick”

“Yes I did dear and how lovely you looked”

“I got the little prick good didn’t I Bo?”

“You sure did dear”

We get into the lift and I press floor 18

I knock on Marcel’s door

The door pops open and there is Marcel

”Peek-a-boo…… oh it’s you… sorry come in”

“What the hell’s the matter with you?” I said

“I thought it was Lisa” he said

“You play peek-a-boo with Lisa?”

“Just come in and sit down will ya”

The apartment is covered in paintings and empty beer cans and brushes and pizza boxes and mouse traps in all the corners and empty tubes of paint and dead mice

“This place is disgusting” says Penny “when was the last time you cleaned?”

“Cleaned?” said Marcel with a puzzled look on his face

“Come here I want to show you something”

We follow Marcel into his bathroom where he sits on the toilet and perched in front of him is a canvas on an easel and next to that a tray with different colored paints on it and brushes

“See I can paint while I shit, I can sit here all day and paint and shit and Lisa brings me drinks and food and I don’t have to go anywhere, I can just eat, drink, shit and paint, it’s marvellous”

“It’s genius” I say

“It’s disgusting and gross and unhygienic and the most disturbing thing I have ever seen” says Penny, “what does Lisa think of it?”

“She loves it, she gets the house to herself and when she wants to go to the toilet I just stand to the side”

“I’m getting out of here” yells Penny

We all go out into the lounge room and the front door opens and in walks Lisa

“Lisa Oh it’s so awful how do you put up with it? Bringing drinks and food to him in the toilet” says Penny

“Some of his best paintings have been done on the toilet”

“Oh Lisa it’s so awful”

Marcel throws his hands in the air as he walks across to Penny and yells

“We all shit, we are born and then we shit, we shit till we die and then when we die they suck the last bit of shit you have right out of you.”

“I paint to fill in time between shits”

“So that’s what you want to be known for? Painting and shitting” barks Penny

“Precisely, In fact you can do my eulogy, you will read”

Here lies Marcel Zimmerman, he was not a great man but a man non the least, a man who wanted nothing more than to paint and shit and eat and fuck, He was not a great man but a man non the least.

I laughed so hard I tripped on a beer can and landed on my ass, laughing among all the dead mice and the empty pizza boxes.

“What’s so funny you asshole?” yells Penny, “your not going to be remembered for much more, what do you suppose I will say at your funeral?”

Here lies Bo Bo, I wanted more, he could not give me more…………………..