So fuckers, how was you’re weekend?
Mine?
Glad you asked.
Well after sitting in my office Friday evening all melancholy with a bottle of red trying to figure out who’s fucking panties they could possibly be and what possible excuse I have for them being there in the first place, while also reading the lovely supportive comments received by ya’ll. To quote “I’d have my baseball bat at the ready and a big bullseye to put on your nutsack” end quote. To quote “Looks like someone needs to go back to man school” end quote.
I thought; yeah fuck it, their right. I’m a man, a cunt of a man who needs to face the consequences of his actions. I’m going to walk in that door and take whatever comes at me.
One thing was still bothering me though. Who’s fucking panties are they. I have strict rules that I have always followed. I put the Freemasons and Stone Cutters to shame with my secret society lifestyle and rules.
Rule number one is; Never bring a chick back to you’re house and never, never fuck them in the marital bed. (Ok so I have broken this rule a few times, but two of them were over 2 to 3 years ago and the third was her sister about a year ago)
Now since the first two I knew I’d performed clean outs of my wardrobe and draws so it couldn’t be from one of them and as for that fateful night with her sister I clearly remember her not having any panties on, cause that it was lead to the whole shebang in the first place.
So I was at wits end trying to figure it out.
Well fuck it, it doesn’t matter anyway. I fucked up at that is that.
When I walked in the door the first thing to hit me was the delectable aroma of a roast Lamb cooking away in the oven. The second thing to hit me was my wife..............with a big kiss and a hug (bet that’s not what you were fucking thinking). Followed by an apology.
As it turns out the blue panties in question were in fact given to my wife on her hen’s night 15 months ago. This fact had only hit her that day and had consumed her beating heart with such sorrow for accusing her loving husband of adultery that she had to do something to quench that grief she held onto so strongly, and what better way to say sorry to her poor husband who should never have to put up with being accused of cheating than with a delicious roast lamb & gravy, a 6 pack of Carlton Cold and a knee quivering blow job.
Now I know what you are thinking “YOU FUCKING CUNT BO”. And you would be right in thinking that. I do feel guilty and I know I’m a massive cunt but what can I do? I’m only one man.
I intend to make it up to her this weekend by buying her the house she wants and I have also made a piss weak oath with myself to not cheat on her again. (Husband of the fucking year right here)
Now boys and girls if there is one lesson to learn from all of this it’s;
Always remember to make sure you’re wife knows what beer you drink. Cause Carlton Cold suck massive cock.
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12 comments:
For some reason, I feel bad for your Mrs (highly unusual as I am faaaar from perfect myself). What baffles me, is WHY you cheat. I don't understand. I'm not judging, I'm just being confused.
I think she deserves better treatment. The way you write about her makes her seem very sweet and good natured. I don't know why I feel like this, as I don't know you, her or a thing about your marriage. I don't know Bo, I feel sad for her.
Fuck Bo, when she catches you and divorces you, it's gonna sting like a motherfucker baby.
I'll buy you a beer and watch you cry. K?
P.S. I am totally not having a go at you baby! Don't think I am. I'm not - I am similar to you in a lot of ways. I am just so desperate to know the 'why'.
Miss K, I think the why is "cause he can" What other reason do men need?
Steph- Her sister? Yes. Did I stu-stu-stutter. But look that’s a whole other fucked up story that should never have happened. Seriously there are heaps of shit layers to that story. I might tell it one day but for now. Fuck no.
I don’t care what you say steph, I still love you.
Ms smack- *Bzzzzzzzz* wrong answer. I always wear protection. Spf-30+ to be exact. Nah I always use an umbrella when singing in the rain. Same with you ms smack, I still love you too.
Everyone- Didn’t anybody hear me when I said I made a piss weak oath to myself never to cheat on her again. That’s a big fucking step people. Fuck I’ve got a halo hanging over my fucking head at the moment.
Bobo.. baby i heard you. Thats maybe why i did me some blog crying. boo friggin hoo. Anyways if you can stop you'll be glad i promise ya. I prolly did cheat on her too, i cheated on every one even the one i married and i so regret it. I have not cheated on the body builder and i dont plan to. Shit is so less complicated when you dont stray. Truth is i only hurt myself. So not proud but im moving on. Just sharing. I love you still. xxx
Mate, you're halfway to completing every man's dream. Do you realise you've already gone further than most guys ever get to living that dream ?? I know you've made an oath but for Christ's sake, there are guys out here depending on you to finish the job.
You have to knock your wife's mother off too...
Hey Steph, what's with the 'or even Fingers' ??
I want an apology.
Then we'll talk about compensation...
Friday- Thanks for sharing. But seriously, what are you doing tonight?
Fingers- The only knocking off I want to do of my wife’s mother involves, a tomahawk, rope, bag of lime, car boot, a shovel and about two state lines.
But if you double dare?.......
Physical challenge…….
$2000 on Bo Bo.
Bobo, I never said I didn't like you. You're a lovable rogue, but you're still a gobshite.
Fingers, cheque is in the mail princess.
Steph- Does that mean you want to have my babies?
If I'm still single and childless in ten years time, then maybe....if your sperm is top quality and you're rich enough to support me in the lifestyle that I've become accustomed too.
Steph- If you’re still single and childless in 10 years time, there’s not a chance. If no one else wants you, neither do I.
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